Family violence, financial abuse and job loss: getting safe and getting support

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Safety tip: if you think your partner monitors your phone or browsing, use a safe device or call from a friend's phone, and consider clearing your history. Women's Refuge has a safety plan booklet and a local refuge finder on its website.

What financial abuse looks like

Financial or economic abuse is a recognised form of family violence. It is when someone uses money to control you. Job loss can make it easier for an abusive person to tighten control.

• Taking your pay or benefit, or making you hand it over.
• Controlling every dollar and demanding receipts, or giving you an 'allowance'.
• Stopping you from working, studying or applying for jobs, or sabotaging interviews.
• Running up debt in your name or forcing you to sign loans.
• Hiding financial information or refusing to let you see accounts.
• Blaming you for the money problems or threatening to leave you with nothing.

If this is happening, it's not your fault and it's not normal. You can talk to Women's Refuge, Shine or the family violence information line; they understand financial abuse.

Your rights at work: family violence leave

If you're working (or about to be), employees affected by family violence can take up to 10 days of paid family violence leave a year, for things like getting support, moving house, going to court or caring for children. You need 6 months' continuous employment with the same employer, or a total of 6 months' work averaging 10 hours a week (with at least 1 hour every week or 40 hours every month). Your employer can ask for proof, which could be a letter from a support worker, doctor, nurse or school, a declaration witnessed by a JP, or court or police documents. You can also ask for short-term flexible working for up to 2 months. Your employer must protect your privacy and must not treat you unfairly because of family violence.

Protecting your money and getting independent support

1. Open an account in your name only, if safe, and have your pay or benefit paid into it. Tell Work and Income if you need payments separate from a partner.
2. Ring Work and Income (0800 559 009). If you're leaving a relationship, you may be eligible for a main benefit or emergency help in your own right. Tell them it's about family violence so they can respond appropriately.
3. Get free financial mentoring from MoneyTalks (0800 345 123, text 4029).
4. Check your credit report for debts you don't recognise. See the credit guide on this site.
5. Get free legal advice from Community Law or the Citizens Advice Bureau (0800 367 222) about protection orders, tenancy, relationship property and debts.
6. Keep records: screenshots, bank statements, dates of incidents, in a safe place or with someone you trust.

Kids and whānau

• Shine's KIDshine programme supports children affected by serious family violence in Auckland.
• Parent Helpline 0800 568 856 and school guidance counsellors can help with children's wellbeing.
• Tell a trusted adult at school if safe to do so.

If you're worried you're the one causing harm

Job loss pressure can lead to anger and loss of control. If you're frightened of what you might do, you can get help. Shine runs non-violence programmes, and the Are You OK line can point to services. Walk away, calm down and call 1737.